Laying down on the job

For years now I’ve been meaning to write porn.

This wasn’t some big lifelong ambition until a friend mentioned it. She gets depressed a lot, and then she reads. A lot. And when she reads, she reads porn.

“A lot of porn involves threesomes, you know, two men and a woman. You ever done that?”

Ah no, I haven’t, for my sins. Or lack of.

“Well, it’s really popular anyway. Especially if they’re brothers. Or gay. Or gay and werewolves. Yeah, that’s really big right now.”

I thought we had Twilight for that. Anyway, how come these mythical fuck festivals are popular?

“There’s a huge market in unusual porn. Especially bondage, and threesomes with brothers. And discipline. With vampires.”

This is the catch. How do you go about this?

People say, write what you know. Most of my sex stories began with, I was drunk. Or, she was drunk. Or, she seemed less weird on the internet.

Also, I don’t have a brother, so any kind of threesome research will be difficult. And I don’t fancy my sister much, plus I know damn well she’d never go for that. No I haven’t asked, but she’s too damn Catholic.

“It doesn’t have to involve threesomes, but they’re pretty big.” I bet. “And the readership for monster porn is huge.”

I now have to roll my sleeves up and prepare to dish out some discipline to a vampire.

Shouldn’t be too difficult, then.